What Used To Be
by scaredycrow
Summary: After nine years of a life on his own, Ed has to work with the man he's tried to forget to save Amestris from destruction. RoyEd.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **What Used To Be

**Rating:** T for swearing, violence, and scenes of a sexual nature later in the story.

**Fandom:** Fullmetal Alchemist

**Pairing: **RoyxEd

**Summary:** After eight years of a life on his own, Ed has to work with the man he's tried to forget to save Amestris from destruction. RoyEd.

**Alternate timeline in which Al's body is restored, Ed still has his alchemy and automail, CoS never happened, and Ed and Roy are only eight years apart.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or anything related to it.

**Chapter One**

Roy Mustang stood outside the familiar country house, his hand poised to knock at the door. For the thousandth time, he wondered if he should really be doing this. Roy remembered Lieutenant Hawkeye's words to him before he left.

_He's the only one who can take care of this. Don't let your personal feelings get in the way of doing the right thing, Sir._

She was right, of course. She always was. But that didn't mean he liked it.

With a deep breath, he gave two strong knocks at the door.

A muted, high-pitched voice shouted, "I get it!" accompanied after by pattering footsteps that grew closer until the door swung open. Roy's breath hitched in his throat.

A young girl, maybe four or five, stared at him through amber eyes. Her skin was lightly tanned, her golden hair pulled into a small braid at the back of her neck. She looked up at him with a defiant expression. The image was so familiar that he almost expected her right arm and left bare foot to be made out of automail.

But he was being ridiculous. Quickly, he composed his face into an indifferent expression.

"Hi Mister, can I help you?" The girl asked.

"Yes, I need to speak with Edward Elric. Is he at home?" asked Roy.

"Maybe, maybe not," she replied, her voice petulant. "Who are you?"

"General Roy Mustang."

The girl's eyes widened fractionally, and she straightened, starting to ease the door shut. "Daddy's not here. Please go away." Her voice was oddly cold for someone so young, and he winced internally.

Roy put his hand against the door to stop it from closing. "Please, I must speak with him," he insisted.

Before the girl could say anything, an all-too familiar voice sounded from the house. "Marie, who is it?"

"Nobody!" Marie shouted, trying to shut the door. Roy jammed his foot in the doorway to prevent her from closing it.

More footsteps came, and Roy never thought he'd hear the uneven steps again. When the voice spoke again, it was right behind the door.

"Come on, Marie, be polite. Let the poor guy in," the voice said warmly, and the man opened the door to become face to face with Roy.

There was a prolonged moment of silence, in which Roy took the time to take in his former subordinate's features. He must have been twenty-six by then, and didn't seem to have changed much in the nine years since Roy had last seen him. He was taller now—still shorter than Roy, but at least at a somewhat normal height. He now wore his hair in a ponytail, giving him a more mature look. Though at the moment he was clearly shocked and tense, Roy could tell he had matured in other ways as well, past the eternal anger to something happier, more carefree, yet still responsible.

Finally, Roy met those large amber eyes, completely unchanged from the wonder they had always been. Now, they narrowed into a fierce, loathing glare.

"Marie, go inside," Edward said without looking down at his daughter. His tone held no room for argument, and she retreated silently into the house, shutting the door behind her.

Ed crossed his arms. "What the fuck are you doing here?" he asked lowly.

"Straightforward as ever," Roy replied, his voice cool. "Hello to you, too."

"Oh, spare me the useless pleasantries. I thought we agreed we'd never see each other again, so why are you here?"

"Trust me, if I'd had a choice, I wouldn't have come." He saw Ed hold back a flinch, and felt a dark satisfaction. "It would be better if we could sit down to discuss the matter at hand."

"You're not setting foot in my house. Either tell me why you're here or get lost."

Roy sighed. "Ed—"

"Don't call me that."

He glared. "What, should I call you Fullmetal? Mr. Elric? Mr. Rockbell?"

Ed rolled his eyes. "Edward will do, you bastard. I'm waiting."

"Edward, then." Roy hesitated, wondering how exactly to say it, then shrugged and decided to just be blunt. "You're needed in Central."

Another bout of satisfaction shot through him as Ed was rendered speechless for a moment. "Wha-what? Central?"

"Yes, it's that city in the middle of Amestris."

"Who the fuck wants me there?" Ed demanded, ignoring the sarcasm. "The government? The military?" He sneered. "You?"

"Actually, no one really wants you there, but that doesn't mean you're not needed."

Ed scowled. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means," Roy ground out, hating himself for what he had to say next. "That we need you if we don't want Amestris to go to ruin."

Silence.

For a long moment, Roy didn't think Ed would respond at all. And when the blonde started to turn away, his hopes fell.

"Come inside. You're going to explain this all to me before I make any decisions."

Only Edward Elric had the ability to crash his hopes and make them rise again at full force with only a few spoken words.

* * *

It took all Ed had not to turn around and punch the man behind him as hard as he could.

_No. I can't give in to those kind of impulses anymore_, he reminded himself. Still, he wanted so badly to scream and yell, to throw the kinds of tantrums he did as a State Alchemist nearly a decade ago.

He couldn't stand this. Why was his former commanding officer here? As he'd said before, they had promised to try to never speak to or see each other again after… well, after what happened. Ed tried not to think about it, or he was sure he wouldn't be able to hold himself back much longer from simply killing the man.

Ed's daughter was in the sitting room when they came in, and she looked up, an expression of concern on her face. Ed cringed. His daughter understood far more than most children her age did. She understood enough from his rare moments of helplessness that anyone named Roy Mustang would not be welcome near him. Now, she scrambled to stand up, tugging on his arm.

"Daddy, why is the bad man here?"

He could almost feel Mustang's discomfort coming off him in waves.

Ed forced a smile. "No one's a 'bad man,' Marie. Colonel Mustang—"

"General," a voice murmured behind him.

"General Mustang is just here to explain a few things, okay? Now, why don't you go get your mother? Tell her it's important."

Marie nodded quickly and sprinted out the backdoor to find her mother in the garden.

"Her mother?"

"Yes. Winry's going to know what's happening anyway, so she may as well just here it from you," Ed said absently, sitting down on the couch. He signaled for Mustang to sit at the armchair.

Mustang's expression was pained. "Edward, this information is—"

"Top secret, classified, I figured. Even if she doesn't come, I'd tell her anyway."

Mustang merely sighed, running a hand through his black hair. Ed tried not to follow the movement, tried not to remember what that hair felt like through his own fingers, tried not to think of when he—

_Don't think about it. It didn't happen. Nothing happened. Everything's fine. You love Winry._

He took a deep breath, looking away from the man in front of him.

Roy spoke hesitantly. "Does Winry know about…?" he didn't need to clarify what he was referring to.

Ed's automail fist clenched. "No. Nothing except that we're not on speaking terms. She assumes it was just another fight," he said curtly.

He was saved having to a hear a reply as the back door opened and closed, followed by Winry's familiar voice.

"Ed? Marie told me there's someone here…?"

"We're in the sitting room," he managed to call back.

When Winry appeared in the doorway, it seemed to take a moment for her to recognize the man before her. When she did, a mixture of surprise, confusion, and repressed anger flickered over her face.

Mustang gave a small smile that didn't reach his eyes. "It's nice to see you, Miss Rock—Mrs. Elric. Will you sit down?"

She did silently before looking at Marie, who was lingering in the doorway. "Up to your room now, Marie." Their daughter paused for a moment before obeying, her tiny face scrunched up in confusion and worry.

Giving a small sigh, he turned to Mustang. "What is this about, General?" His voice was cold and clipped.

"As I said, Edward, we need you to help us with a… problem… in Central."

"Central?" Winry asked bemusedly, echoing Ed's earlier question. "What in the world would require Ed to be there? He left the military ages ago."

"I'm well aware of that, Mrs. Elric," Mustang said dryly, and Ed gave a small flinch. "But your _husband_"—Ed was certainly not imagining the subtle emphasis on that word—"is essentially our only hope in helping us here."

"Get to the point, Mustang," Ed snapped, fed up. "What's going on?"

"Have you been keeping up with Central's news at all lately?"

He snorted. "Idiot, of course not. We're perfectly happy staying away from that place, in all senses."

"You may do well to keep more in touch with the world, Edward," Mustang said, a condescending tone entering his voice that Ed recognized all too well. "You'd realize that this problem has the potential to change Amestris for the worse."

Ignoring his jibe, Ed's forehead scrunched up in confusion. "How so? What is it?"

"As you know, there's always been some low-key gang activity in Central, but recently it's become much bigger than usual. In the last month, there's been eleven disappearances that seem to have no connection to each other. There are rumors that a certain gang is taking these victims and using them for unknown purposes. The papers are pretty sure it's just some bloodthirsty gang murdering whomever they feel like, but a few weeks ago, we—my team, that is—have found that it's more than just that.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye, Second Lieutenant Havoc, Major Armstrong and I were investigating the scene of one of the more recent disappearances, but while there were usually only signs of a struggle, this time there were signs of alchemy. When I looked more into it, I found that it was signs of human transmutation."

"So what?" Ed cut in, annoyed. "Criminals practice human transmutation all the time. Why's this so special?"

"Many reasons. The main two being that the alchemy seemed to serve two purposes: to make a philosopher's stone, and to create an army of homunculi."

Ed stiffened immediately, and Winry gasped, her hand tightening around Ed's. Memories of his early teenage years flashed through his mind, reminding him that the nightmares he thought had vanished years ago were always in reach, ready to strike at the mention of them. He took a deep breath, trying to at least retain a calm expression. His arm curled protectively around Winry as she began to tremble, and he turned to whisper soothing words in her ear.

"Hey, it's okay, Winry… they're not going to hurt you, okay? I'll protect you, it's okay. I love you." He said that last part just a little louder, and felt the smallest twinge of smugness when Mustang winced out of the corner of his eye.

After a minute or so, she calmed down enough to take a few deep breaths. Ed glared at Mustang, who shrugged, giving him a look that said, 'I told you I should've talked to you alone.'

Ed hated himself for agreeing.

Finally, he spoke again. "Look, Mustang, I don't live in Central anymore. I'm not part of the military. It's not my job to fix anything that happens there. Besides, have you reported this to anyone?"

Mustang sighed. "Obviously, I've tried that, but we've found out that the higher-ups are in on this. We figure the gang is probably creating the philosopher's stone and homunculi for their own uses, whatever they may be."

"Even so, there are many other options you could've taken to solve this, no matter how big it is."

"That's true," Mustang conceded. "But many would have failed or messed things up even more. But that doesn't matter much. You would have taken part in this even if I hadn't asked you to. And even though we aren't exactly on speaking terms, I know you well enough that you'll choose the right side to fight for whether you like them or not."

Ed snorted. "And what gives you the idea that I would ever participate in something like this?"

There was a long silence in which Mustang seemed to be considering what he would say next very carefully. Winry was still silent next to him, and seemed to only pick out the important parts of their conversation. Ed felt another stab of irritation toward Mustang for having the nerve to show up here it all.

Finally, Mustang answered him in a soft voice. "You'll help us stop this," he said. "Because the last person to go missing was Alphonse Elric."

**End of Chapter One**

**Please Review! Thank you!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **What Used To Be

**Rating:** T for swearing, violence, and scenes of a sexual nature later in the story.

**Fandom:** Fullmetal Alchemist

**Pairing: **RoyxEd

**Summary:** After eight years of a life on his own, Ed has to work with the man he's tried to forget to save Amestris from destruction. RoyEd.

**Alternate timeline in which Al's body is restored, Ed still has his alchemy and automail, CoS never happened, and Ed and Roy are only eight years apart.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or anything related to it.

**A/N: Starts right after end of chapter one.**

**Chapter Two**

Roy watched as Ed was rendered speechless once again, but this time, he didn't feel so smug. He was really just glad he'd had the foresight to wait to give him this information. At least now he'd gotten what he came here to say out. If he'd given the news first, he knew he would've never been able to calm the man down enough to explain the situation properly.

Surprisingly, it was Winry who spoke first, looking sick, and the anger Roy had caught in her expression when she first walked in was even more pronounced now.

"Roy Mustang, if this is some kind of ploy to get Ed into Central, then I swear—"

Roy shuddered as she eyed the wrench on the table a ways away. "I assure you, Mrs. Elric, that although I've done some pretty… bad… things in the past to get my way, I would _never _use Ed's brother as a way to get him to Central. If it makes you feel better, you're free to phone Lieutenant Hawkeye for confirmation." He knew her distrust was largely due to him being the cause of her parents' death. He tried to banish that thought from his mind; dwelling over his nightmares of Ishbal wouldn't help at all in this situation.

Winry still looked suspicious of him, and she nodded slowly. "I think I will do that, just to make sure. I can trust Riza." _And not you_, was the unspoken implication. With a concerned glance at her husband, she gently pried her hand from his iron grip and went off to call Hawkeye after she'd asked for the telephone number.

With her gone, Roy was left alone with Ed, who seemed to be beginning to come out of his stupor of shock.

Ed swallowed multiple times, his eyes wide and unseeing, and he barely seemed to realize what he was saying as he spoke. "How… but he was… why…"

He looked so pitiful, sitting there, uncomprehending. Roy wanted nothing more than to step forward and pull the man into his arms, to soothe him like he used to. But he had no place doing that now. Ed made it clear he was unhappy about Roy being here, and him trying anything to bring back those memories would just make everything worse. Sighing softly, he tried to make his tone gentle. "One week ago, I received a call from Mei Elric—she and her children are fine—saying that your brother had disappeared. She said that she was in Xing and couldn't reach you from there, because the Xingan telephone lines can't place calls to anywhere but the command centers in Amestris. Brigadier-General Hughes confirmed that he wasn't in Central, Risembool, or anywhere else that we could find. Then we came across the same signs that we'd seen with the other victims' disappearance, and the only possible conclusion is that Alphonse is now in their hands."

Roy had watched Ed's expressions enough to know that the flicker that sparked his eyes now meant that he had just realized something. "Wait…" his voice was rough, so he cleared it, looking like he was trying not to think about what was happening to much. "But he and Mei were on their yearly trip to Xing with the kids… where did all the other disappearances happen?"

"Most were in Central, eight in West City, six in North City, one in South City, and two in East City," Roy counted off.

"All in Amestris accept for this one… so then they must have gone out of their way to do this. So they've probably got places set up in those cities you mentioned and are just taking whoever they come across…" Ed frowned. "Hey, why are the numbers so much lower in East and South City?"

Roy shrugged. "We've been wondering that, too. They've been much more careful in those cities, as well, which doesn't make a lot of sense. But we came to the same conclusion as you that your brother's disappearance is no random thing. In fact…" Roy trailed off, wondering if he should say it.

"What?" Ed demanded. "He's my brother, you have to tell me anything you know!"

Roy sighed. "Well, we think they're using him as a hostage to get you there."

Ed froze. "What…? But why would they want… I mean… why do they want me there? For Gate's sake, I haven't even been around Central in eight fuckin' years!"

"I think you underestimate your importance, Edward. You may not be in the military, but you are still the People's Hero. State Alchemists and the like have lost a great deal of respect because you opened the peoples' eyes." It was true. On his missions, Ed had often angered military officers and State Alchemists by exposing them for their petty crimes. He had shown the people what good alchemists could be, and now that they'd seen that, they would be hard-pressed to agree with anyone who didn't believe as Ed did. It was almost counter-productive in a way, at least from a political view. Roy continued. "There are many who would like to have revenge on you, or at least use you to attain their own goals. You're also one of the most powerful alchemists in Amestris, and there are certainly many still who want you as their personal weapon." Roy had certainly dealt with his fair share of high-ranking officers demanding he let Ed be under their command, both during and after he was in the military. As if Roy was holding Ed back from doing so.

"Those fucking bastards. I'm not their pawn!"

"Yes, well, if you'd like to go and confront each and every officer who would like to use you as such, be my guest," Roy said, his patience wearing. He felt sorry for the man, of course he did. No one was more important to Ed than Alphonse, and the thought of losing him was too much to bear for Roy, so he could only imagine what this was like for Ed. But at the same time, he didn't want to stay here longer than he had to just so he could console his former subordinate. He hadn't talked to Ed in years, and it wasn't the most pleasant experience, especially with the memories that were resurfacing at his presence.

"Shut up, bastard."

"Are you going to Central or not, Edward?"

"Of course I am!"

"Good," Roy said, and stood up. Winry came back in the room then, and gave Roy a small nod, acknowledging that his words were the truth. She looked less tense after having spoken to Riza Hawkeye, but even more upset now that she knew that Al's disappearance was indeed true.

"Wait a minute!" Ed said, standing up as well. "That doesn't mean I'm going to be helping you in any way—"

"You know just as well as I do that without solving the problem properly, you won't be able to find your brother. I know you used to be unable to follow anything but you impulses, but I hope that when those you care about are in danger, you'll be able to let that childishness leave you and actually think rationally for once."

"Don't act so fucking condescending, Mustang," Ed all but snarled.

"_Oh, don't act so fucking condescending, you asshole bastard! I'm not a kid!"_

"_Did I say you were?"_

Roy could see the memory of their last fight reflected in the amber eyes, and he could tell Ed regretted the similar choice of words.

Stiffly, Roy followed Ed to the front door, hearing Winry trail quietly behind. As jealous as he was of her, he could tell the two were very close, so it surprised him that when they reached the door, Ed turned to his wife and said in a soft voice, "Winry, why don't you go check on Marie?"

Roy felt her stiffen slightly, seeming as surprised as he was, but she nodded mutely and went off to console their daughter. Ed turned to Roy with an intense look.

"Okay, Roy, I'll agree to work with your team. But I'm not having contact with you unless it's unavoidable. I realize that you're the one in charge of your team and such here, but you're not my commanding officer anymore. You have no say over what I do. I'll work with Hughes and the rest of your team, but I don't want our personal issues getting in the way of finding my brother, do you understand?"

Roy was taken aback. He'd never seen this side of Ed before, this cold, hard, stern man that stood before him now. For the first time, he realized how Ed had felt when Roy had patronized him in the past. But he kept his indifferent expression, the slight tightening of his fists the only indication of his irritation. He was about to reply, but Ed beat him to it.

"Also, I want one thing very clear. My only priority here is to get Al back home, safe and unharmed. I wish for that to be a big priority of yours and the team's as well. Anything and everything I do is only to reach that goal, alright? I'm not playing any of your games unless it benefits me."

And once again, Roy fell in love all over with Edward Elric. He'd forgotten what the blond could be like when given a real purpose, and the determination that took a hold of him was as stunning as he remembered it. Only this time, there was no doubt that his desire would not be welcomed in the slightest.

Holding back a weary sigh, Roy nodded once, stepping outside the country house. "Understood."

He could feel the gaze on his back as he walked down the pathway. As he closed the gate, he looked back up at the door, unable to resist. In the glow of the setting sun, Ed nearly _shined_, all flashing silver and glittering gold, and if not for the hard expression on his face, Roy might've tricked himself into believing that they were still together, and the man was seeing him off for some political trip. But Ed only inclined his head in a small gesture of reluctant gratitude, and shut the door in front of him, back to a warm house and a family who loved him.

Roy continued on the path back to the station, trying to ignore the familiar feeling of emptiness start to take hold of him. With a sigh, he resigned himself to the fact he wouldn't get much sleep tonight.

* * *

Ed closed the door behind him, a mixture of emotions running wild inside him.

First and foremost was the despair-tinged shock of the news Mustang had brought with him. His little brother was gone! What if he was hurt? What if they tortured him? What if he was… but Ed couldn't think it. He refused to accept it as a possibility.

He thought over what Mustang had said. A gang, huh? Well, Ed had dealt with his fair share of those in the past, and he'd hated them much more than the average insane alchemist. Gangs were always difficult to stop, for a couple reasons. They usually were very good at staying hidden, for it wasn't unusual for military officers to join a gang to get more profit. For this reason, they had more intelligence of how the military worked and what its weaknesses were. Plus, gang members usually trusted each other blindly, in it only for the monetary gain, so if the gang was large and strong, apprehending only a few of them was next to useless in the impact it made on their plans. Individuals weren't important in gangs, which is why you had to take a shot at anyone you came across and hope it was someone important.

And now they had his brother.

Ed felt like screaming, and it was all he could do not to rush to the station to take the next train to Central, and to hell with logic or reason. But deep down, he knew Mustang was right. He wouldn't accomplish anything by following rash impulses, much as he wanted to. If they were working with such a powerful gang, he couldn't expect to be successful if he worked alone. As he'd grown older, Ed had realized that he couldn't do everything himself. He was good, sure, but even he couldn't take on something this big by himself.

Which lead him to the next thing on his mind: Mustang.

Did it _have_ to be him who came here? Couldn't he have sent Riza, or Maes? Even though he knew that none of them could convince him to be rational like Mustang could, he didn't have to like it…

Damn, that bastard was going to be the death of him one day. He'd spent so much time trying to forget him and what they'd been to each other; lonely nights at the bar trying to drink away the memories, trips that lasted for weeks just to be away from the questioning look in Winry's eyes when he sometimes refused her, burning himself with clumsily lit matches because he swore not to ever use fire alchemy. And now with one visit, the infuriating man had all those memories rushing back, and Ed was helpless to stop them.

_Sitting in the library, pouring over notes about the fate of those who had gone looking for the Stone, trying to find some clue as to how he could find one. Long, pale arms snaking around his chest, drawing him backward. Smiling lips pressed against his neck making him sigh contentedly. A smooth voice whispering, "give it a rest, love."_

_The memory changed…_

_Stepping down the train steps through hazy steam, looking around for the familiar clanking suit of armor. Frowning when he didn't see one, wondering how the hell he was supposed to get home now. Bumping into a familiar chest and looking up in surprise to see a smile on the familiar sharp face surrounded by soft black hair. Looking around to check for watchers before reaching up quickly, pressing a light kiss to the lips he loved._

_The memory changed…_

_Away on an assignment, cooped up against the rain in a dingy hotel room with nothing but his own breath for company. Shivering in the cold but imagining he was somewhere else, somewhere warm by the alchemically-created fire, dozing off with an over-sized military coat draped over him. Back to reality, fingering the folded note in his pocket to take it out, smiling at the words: _Come home soon.

_The memory changed…_

_Waking up to a dismal, foul-smelling room with lights too bright and windows too dark, his whole body aching with pain. Starting as he recalled the Stone, the flash of blue light, the looming Gate and welcoming the body of his brother back into his arms where it belonged before blackness. Looking around to see his lover sitting beside his bed, looking down at him with a smile. Knowing without words from the look in those dark eyes that he'd succeeded, that it was over now, and feeling relief coarse through him as he drifted back off with the thought, _finally_…_

_The memory changed…_

_Lying in the dark after their passionate lovemaking, listening to the sleeping breath of his lover and staring down at the older man with something like fascination. Brushing back the dark hair softly, letting a smile touch his face as the man leaned into his touch. Wondering what had happened to make them grow so distant with each other, and why they could only be what they once were while in slumber…_

"Ed?"

He looked up, trying to keep his face neutral, but he could tell he failed by the softening of Winry's eyes. There was a knowing look there, too, and Ed wondered as he sometimes did if his best friend and wife knew more about he and Mustang's past relationship than she ever let on. Now, he clasped her hand tightly with his left hand—though he hoped not _too_ tightly, for even his human hand could be dangerous to most people, unless their name was Alex Armstrong or Sig Curtis—and let her guide him to the kitchen, where his daughter was waiting.

"Daddy!" she cried, and jumped up to embrace him. He laughed somewhat shakily, still shocked with recent events, and pressed a light kiss to her forehead.

"Hey, Marie, what's for supper tonight?"

"Mama's making hangaburgers!" she squealed excitedly.

"Oh boy, hangaburgers?" he replied enthusiastically, shooting Winry a grin as she snickered at the way their daughter pronounced 'hamburgers.'

"Yup!" Marie nodded happily, but her smile soon fell away as she fully took in Ed's face. "Daddy, why were you crying?"

_Fuck_, Ed thought as her small hand wiped the moisture from his cheeks. _Bastard made me fucking cry again… he's making me act like a girl even when he's not around! _Giving a forced smile, he set his daughter down at the table.

"M'not crying, honey."

"Yes, you were," she replied adamantly, and Ed found great amusement in her stubbornness, so like his at a young age. Well, he was still that stubborn sometimes, he supposed.

"Daddy's just a bit stressed right now, sweetheart," he told her, looking up with a small smile as Winry handed him the dinner plate. He hoped she thought he was crying just because of Al—_don't think about it right now, plenty of time for that later—_but something told him she knew that wasn't all of it. Shit, this had gone on too long. He knew he should've told her straight from the start, but at the time the got together, he was still trying to heal from the depression he'd sunken into. He hadn't thought he'd be able to stand her reaction to the news that he'd been fucking his commanding officer who was eight years his senior. But now, there was no more denying it. She probably knew anyway, maybe she had for a long time. He wasn't exactly the best at hiding his emotions from those he cared about.

But now was not the time for that discussion.

As Marie dug into her dinner, Ed mouthed to Winry across the table, 'did you tell her?'

Winry shook her head, raising one eyebrow as if to say, 'it's you're place to tell her, not mine.'

Ed sighed, then spoke. "Marie, honey, there's something I need to tell you."

Immediately, she looked up, eyes much too alert and focused for a seven year-old. "What is it, Daddy?"

"I…" he cleared his throat, trying again. "I'm going to have to go away for a while. I don't know how long it will be."

"Oh, are you doing the rewearch?"

He chuckled a bit. "No, Marie, I'm not going to do research. I'm going to Central City, and it's for business."

"Biness?" she repeated, trying out the word. "What's that?"

"I'm just going to be helping some people out with important things."

"Are you gonna use akemy?"

"Yeah, alchemy's a big part of it."

"Oh." She paused, a small frown scrunching up her face. "Can I come?"

"No," He and Winry both said immediately. He continued. "Honey, this isn't a place for you. It's boring and it's not safe unless you know the alchemy that I do, okay?"

"Hmph," she grumbled. Then she brightened. "When you come back, will you start teaching me akemy? You said you would soon!"

Ed sighed again. His daughter got much too excited about something he sometimes wished didn't exist because of all the lives it ruined. "Sure, Marie. But if you're not finished with that book I gave you for Christmas, you won't get it anyway."

"Okay, I'll finish it right away!"

And with that, he watched his daughter run up the stairs gleefully up to her room, her half-eaten hamburger abandoned on her plate. Winry laughed.

"She's just like her father, eager to be starting," she said fondly. Then she turned to him, and her expression changed to something he didn't quite recognize. "When will you be leaving?"

"Tomorrow," he said quietly. "I want to get him back safe as soon as possible."

Winry looked like she was about to say more, but before he could, Ed took their dishes to the sink and started the water, drowning out any more conversation. He knew he had to talk to her, and he would. But not tonight. Not after seeing the man he still loved come and tell him that his brother was in danger.

Tomorrow, he'd set off to try to get this problem fixed. After that, he'd never let Al out of his sight again, and would have to reinforce he and Mustang's rule of never seeing or speaking to each other.

**End of Chapter Two**

******Please Review! Thank you!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:**What Used To Be

**Rating:** T for swearing, violence, and scenes of a sexual nature later in the story.

**Fandom:** Fullmetal Alchemist

**Pairing:**RoyxEd

**Summary:** After eight years of a life on his own, Ed has to work with the man he's tried to forget to save Amestris from destruction. RoyEd.

**Alternate timeline in which Al's body is restored, Ed still has his alchemy and automail, CoS never happened, and Ed and Roy are only eight years apart.

**Disclaimer:**I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or anything related to it.

**Chapter Three**

Roy's sleep was troubled that night on the train, alternating between nightmares of Ishval and dreams of Ed. He wasn't sure which was worse, for sometimes he would wake up, sure that Ed was sleeping soundly in his arms before reality came rushing back, and that could be even more cruel than the faces of children he'd burned to death.

Finally, he simply refused to drift back to sleep again, even though the exhaustion was getting to him. He hadn't slept well last night, either, knowing he was on his way to Edward and knowing that most likely, it would not be pleasant.

Roy sighed, thinking over the visit for the umpteenth time. Seeing Ed with a happy family he loved made him wish it would've worked to send Hawkeye to come get him, or Maes. But he knew both of them would've never been able to force Ed into thinking rationally, because they'd spend too much time trying to console him about his brother to give him the full details and reality check.

And so the undesirable task fell onto him.

He shifted in his seat, glancing out the window at the landscape rushing by. He checked his watch, and realized he'd be back in Central in only thirty minutes or so, something he found he wasn't really looking forward to. He sure hadn't minded the countryside after such long, lonely years of barely leaving the city.

It was still dark out, and still would be for a good hour, so the station wouldn't be very crowded. That was a good thing, for Roy had many a time run into other officers there who wanted to stop him so they could chat, and he would be forced to put on a polite façade when he really wanted to incinerate them on the spot for taking up the time he could be using for rest. At least today was Sunday, and he didn't have to worry about work until tomorrow.

He'd be quite safe in spending the day drinking.

Twenty-five minutes later, he the train slowed to a stop at Central station with the familiar whistle. Roy got off with the other few passengers, most of which seemed just as weary as he did. Few people would want to leave anywhere to go back to this godforsaken city, especially with the dangerous crimes taking place so often these days. Everyone was on edge, wondering if they or their friends and family would be next.

His home wasn't too far away from the station, so he walked, and arrived there half an hour later. He picked up the newspaper lying on the steps leading up to his door on his way in, glancing at the now-familiar headline.

**FAMILY OF THREE DISAPPEARS, GANG INVOLVEMENT SUSPECTED**

Roy frowned, stepping inside. This was the first he'd seen of a whole family disappearing. Until now, it had only been individuals, though there was one report of a couple going missing in West City. Feeling unsettled, he read on, walking into his kitchen to lean on the counter.

"On Friday, another mysterious disappearance was reported, this time of a family of three. Military Warrant Officer Jack (43) and Georgina (39) Harrington, and their daughter, Silvia (7), were reported missing after they weren't seen for over 48 hours. There were some signs of a struggle at their home in East Central, civilian police officers said.

The military and civilian police have confirmed that they will be working on this case together, but no further reports on the status of this case were given.

'I live right next door to the Harrington's, and I had talked to them that evening,' Harrington family's neighbor, Andrea Conoway (57) says. 'They all went in to their house, Jack, Georgie, and little Silvia, but the next morning, I didn't see Georgie come out like she usually does. Normally, we have a little morning chat before she goes off to work, but she didn't. Jack's car was still in the driveway, too, which is weird because he usually gets to work before I even get up.

'I went to work like usual, but I still felt like something was up. I'd seen them the night before, and they didn't mention they were going anywhere, so why wouldn't they show up? Well, I called their house, just to make sure, but they didn't pick up! Later, when I went back home, I knocked and all, but no one answered. Cars still in the driveway, the door was even unlocked, but when I checked, no one was home!

I'd have heard if anything strange was happening, because our houses aren't very soundproof, but I didn't hear a peep all night. It's so strange, and so sad that something this awful would happen to great folks like them.'"

Roy rolled his eyes at this. Lately, the newspaper was taking a different approach to their articles. With each disappearance, they had some neighbor or friend or family member of the missing give some long account of what happened, even though it could have been easily summarized in a few sentences. It was turning the whole thing into some sort of real-life drama.

Warrant Officer Jack Harrington… Roy thought that name sounded familiar. Making himself some coffee, he wondered where he knew it from.

Then he remembered. Warrant Officer Harrington had given him a message from his CO, Captain Karsend. He and his family had just moved to Central because he was transferred, and he was very eager to see the Central State Alchemists. It had been a few months ago, and he remembered the conversation particularly well.

"_Colonel Mustang, Sir, Captain Karsend sent me to give this to you, Sir," Harrington said quickly, handing Roy a document from behind his desk. He reached out to take it, raising his eyebrows when the man's gaze lingered on his gloves._

"_Yes, they're very useful, Warrant Officer," he said coldly, smirking as the man paled and looked away. "Will that be all?" Roy asked._

"_Er, yes Sir… but, Sir, permission to ask something else?" the man asked hesitantly._

_Roy rolled his eyes. "Go on."_

"_Is it true that the Fullmetal Alchemist was under your command, Sir?" he asked eagerly._

_Roy stiffened. "Yes. Is there any importance to this?"_

"_Ah, sorry, Sir. Just that I happen to have met him while I was out in East City. He was a pretty interesting guy to talk to." Harrington chuckled. "I can see where he picked up some of that talent, I guess."_

"_That's all very well, Warrant Officer, but I fail to see how that relates to any current matter at hand."_

_The man flushed. "Right, ah, sorry, Sir."_

_Roy nodded. "Dismissed." And the man left in a hurry, leaving Roy with unwanted memories running through his mind._

Well, that was interesting, Roy thought as he sipped his coffee. He remembered a few more times around Harrington, and he had learned briefly from Hawkeye that he seemed to be very interested in the Fullmetal Alchemist and all his achievements, as well as Roy's.

And now he and his family were missing.

Roy paused in sipping his coffee. It would be crazy to think that just because Jack Harrington had met Edward once, that was why he'd disappeared. None of the other victims had any known connection to him, except for Alphonse, of course.

Still, he'd had the suspicion for a while that Ed had some part in the gang's plans. He didn't like to think about it much, for if he was right, wouldn't he be leading Ed straight into danger? He was practically signing off the man's death by asking him to—

Roy shook his head. It didn't matter, and it was probably just a suspicion anyway. The gang needed to be stopped, and Edward was the only way to do that before it was too late.

He just wished it didn't have to be that way.

* * *

Ed didn't sleep any better than Roy.

He stayed awake in his study, absently thinking up new offensive attack alchemy as he tried not to get too worked up. The shock of Roy's news had faded, and frantic thoughts of his brother kept flashing through his mind. It took everything he had to not dash off to Central, and most of what was keeping him there was the thought that if he left without the proper preparations, Winry and Marie might be next for these bastards. He had to stay calm, for their sakes.

He knew it would be near torture to be working with Mustang's team, having to sneak around and follow their plan instead of just rushing into to save Al. But he knew he would have to. Even he couldn't face a whole, dangerous gang of alchemists and come out the victor. If they were performing human transmutation, chances were they'd seen the Gate and react quickly with alchemy without having to use chalk. They'd have to work out the gang's strengths and weaknesses, figure out what was going on, and organize a whole plan before they could move in. And plans weren't exactly Ed's specialty.

He nearly screamed in frustration, the pencil his was holding breaking from his tight grip. He couldn't go save his brother now, but if they waited too long, it might be too late!

It might already be too late…

He looked up with wild eyes as a knock sounded on the door and Winry came in. As she took in his desperate look, her expression grew even more grave.

"Ed…" she said in a soft voice, stepping forward. He almost leaned away when she reached for him, thinking, stupidly, of Roy, before he reminded himself that he and Winry were fucking _married_ for Gate's sake; he didn't have to worry about anyone. He let her wrap an arm around his shoulders, and he leaned in more until he was shaking in her embrace, feeling like he did when she had comforted him the same way after his mother's death as a kid.

"He'll be okay," she whispered in his ear. He pulled back slightly to look into her wide, blue eyes, a silent question running between them. _How do you know?_

She sighed. "Think about it this way, Ed. If R—_General Mustang_ is right, and, well, he usually is, then he's only a hostage to you. They wouldn't hurt him too much now." He could tell she was regretting the words, 'too much.'

He tried to dispel that thought.

"And Ed…" he looked up at her again as her voice grew wary with an edge of fear. "I know you probably won't listen to this, but, please… don't put yourself in too much danger."

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. How could he promise that if he would do anything for Al?

"It's just… Marie and I love you. She needs a father, and I…" here she swallowed, looking down. "Well, I know you don't love me the way I love you. I can deal with that. But I would hope that I still mean enough to you for you to think a little bit before totally throwing yourself in front of Al."

Ed finally found his voice. "Winry, I—"

"Don't deny it!" she cried shrilly. She lowered her voice some, rubbing at her eyes. "I mean, I suspected it for some time, seeing as every time _he _was brought up, you'd become so distant and bitter. But seeing you with him… it was obvious. You can't hide it from me anymore."

Guilt twisted his stomach. "I wasn't planning to, Winry."

Neither of them spoke for a moment, then Winry asked, so softly that Ed almost didn't hear her, "do you still love him?"

He wanted to say no, he really did. He wanted to say that he'd move on, that some day he'd come to truly love Winry. But after eight years, he knew that would be a lie. And he couldn't lie to her.

He could only give a small, quick nod. He looked away, not wanting to see her hurt expression.

They sat like that in silence, close but not touching, neither knowing quite what to say. After a few minutes, Ed glanced at the clock on his table. 1:41 AM.

"You'd better get some sleep, Win," he said quietly. "You and Marie are getting on a train tomorrow to Rush Valley to stay with Paniña. I've called her to tell her. Safer in a town full of automail junkies than a town where the nearest neighbor is a mile away."

She nodded. "You should get some sleep too, Ed."

He shrugged. They both knew he wouldn't be getting any sleep.

She got up to leave the study. When she was at the door, Ed called softly, "Winry?" She paused.

"You know I do love you, right?"

She stayed there for a long moment, then she left, not answering him.

**End of Chapter Three**

**A/N: Sorry it's kind of short. Things will start getting more exciting soon. :) Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed so far, I really appreciate it.**

**Please review! Thanks!**


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